Have you ever been just really uninspired? Like you know what you are supposed to do, or write, or say but you just sit there with a blank mind?
For instance, right now I am supposed to be writing about why dates are important for marriages. They are important and I know that because I am married and things tend to go better when we get out of the house, just the two of us (did anyone else just start singing that Will Smith song in their head?) so we can be adults and remember why we like each other.
But I’m just sitting here staring at a blank page with no words to write. This is an important topic and I’m just drawing a blank.
My mind never stops so the fact that it decided to take a break now is really inconvenient. I guess saying my mind is blank isn’t exactly accurate. I am thinking about EVERYTHING but date nights.
My to-do list, what I’m going to make for dinner this week, lunches that need packed, events coming up, etc.
But I guess that is why dates are important when you are married. All of the other things can easily take over and often do. We forget about making time for our marriages. Time is spent on everything else and we think it doesn’t matter because we already said: “I do.”
We take it for granted that we will remember to see each other as more than just taxi drivers, cooks, launderers, housekeepers, or roommates. We won’t just automatically remember why we started this whole marriage thing to begin with.
And this seems completely strange, at least to me anyway, because no one thinks that things will go this way. Marriage typically starts out with two people who are completely obsessed with each other. They couldn’t imagine ever taking the human being in front of them for granted. The truth is that taking someone for granted never happens on purpose.
It happens when life gets busy or heavy. Or when everyone gets distracted by a million responsibilities and children. Children are amazing blessings from the Lord but they take a ton of time and attention. Without concentrated effort, your marriage can quickly take a backseat to those sweet little bundles and that is not how it should be.
The Bible says that what God has put together let no man put asunder. This is talking about marriage. We are to leave our families of origin and cling to one another. Marriage is permanent on this side of heaven but our children grow up and leave. That is how it should be.
Yes, we pour into them. Yes, we disciple them. Yes, we love them so much. But they aren’t everything. If we are pouring everything we have into raising our kids but neglecting our marriage then that isn’t good.
It isn’t good for us, our marriage, or our kids. That isn’t providing them with a safe, stable, home that has been built around the foundational truth of how God set up the family.
So set up some date nights. Get a sitter ( I have 5 kids and know how expensive that can be. Do it anyway because it is important). Just go out. It doesn’t even matter where, just go. My husband and I go to a different restaurant in our town on every date. We stay close to home and just spend time eating together and talking.
If just eating and talking isn’t something that sparks joy for you and your marriage then get more creative and adventurous. But don’t feel the pressure to make every single date adventurous and amazing. We get tired and maybe all you can do that week is dinner and being in each other’s company.
That’s okay. In fact, it is an amazing step in maintaining your marriage. You’ve got this! Now go plan a date night.
Are you looking for a community or someone to grab coffee with who is in a similar life season? We’d love to connect with you and get to know you better! Below you will find a few people that can’t wait to meet you, shoot us an email so we can make a plan!
Tyler OJ Campus
Teresa Ator: firstname.lastname@example.org
Bethanie Tayler: email@example.com
Tyler UB Campus
Max Heller: firstname.lastname@example.org
Molly Pontius: email@example.com
Debra Kirby: firstname.lastname@example.org